I went to a Halloween party this last week, and got to see a good friend of mine who recently moved back to town. She asked me how it was going with two children. I confessed, it has been horrific. And she says, "but Tallie I read your blog, and I think, 'wow she has it all together'". That couldn't be more from the truth! I have been so deep in the trenches of dailly living, that I couldn't even surface to blog. I've been a bad friend, a bad mom, sister, daughter, You name it, I am bad at it right now. So I wanted to post something today that was 100% me, no fluff :)
I was just sitting here watching Ezra play, and thinking. I thought about how I can't wait till this is over, and I am not so constantly inundated with all things children. I thought about how much I hate potty training. I thought about how much I hate fighting with Abe. I thought about how much I love my sleep, and it seems like I will never have that back. I thought about how by the time I am 50, I will hopefully be a grandma. I thought about all the reasons I waited till I was 25 to have Abe, and why I think all of those are stupid now. I thought about Nick being 29 this month, and I thought about how maybe I would have had more kids, if we had started sooner.
And then as I was still watching my baby, I thought, WHY CAN'T I FREEZE TIME! All I want to do is hold these two little boys close to me forever. I don't want them to grow up, learn to drive, go away for two years, marry some girl, and be gone forever. I want them as they are right now, forever. I love their cute little faces, and I love that I am their mom.